Wednesday, February 15, 2006

American I-dull?

In penance for having taken part of yesterday as a snow day--and weary of watching them repeatedly scrape our Olympic athletes off the slopes so that the Games could continue--I forced myself to watch Dr. Phil McGraw's prime time Love Smart special last night. Here is what I have learned (other than the fact that a prime time special can rocket your book to No. 6 on Amazon, as was the case this morning when I awoke):

1. Paula Abdul is sweet but ditzy. (In one of the show's two key themes, McGraw arranged a pair of blind dates for the American Idol star.)
2. Dr. Phil is aging before our very eyes. Must be the lawsuit.
3. McGraw is still bent on pretending that his current marriage is his only marriage. All of the segments involving Robin, his wife of 29 years, seemed choreographed to give the impression that they were childhood sweethearts, thus disenfranchising actual first wife Debbie (1970-73), who must have been watching with amusement, back in Kansas.
4. The show featured an on-air confrontation between an admitted Casanova and three of the women he'd been more or less simultaneously bedding; this was the other key theme. McGraw's tone of moral judgment overhung the entire segment, which was interesting, because according to Debbie, McGraw himself would've won no awards for fidelity when he was the same age as the guy that got sandbagged last night. (McGraw has been coy if not downright hostile when pressed for specifics on his first marriage and why it fell apart.)
5. As part of the blind date motif, McGraw gave Abdul a list of questions to ask her prospective suitors. The "right answers" were so transparent that I couldn't help thinking about how easily Mr. Casanova would've aced the test and added Abdul to his stable of attractive women. It was on the order of:

Multiple choice: "If I start crying, you would...

  • beat me till I'm insensate"
  • console me, but while also removing my panties"
  • embrace me to your chest, but while looking over my head to the cute blonde in the next booth"
  • tell me everything's gonna be OK, you're there for me..."

Duh. And this is the kind of ultra-savvy approach to romance that millions of American women will pay good money to learn from a Dr. Phil.

P.S. And what is the deal with this "Tracy Miller" reviewer, anyway? (see yesterday's blog). The quintet of identical 4-star reviews is back up on the Love Smart page again this morning.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

OK, now you've spoiled us by posting almost daily. So... where's the next rant? Don't tell us you have nothing to say for yourself!