Wednesday, May 10, 2006

"Don't Forget Mom!"...

...reads the lead sales line of Tony Robbins' latest spam to me (and, presumably, to the other zillion or so names on his mailing list).*

"Our mothers guide us along a path of never-ending growth and learning, and with it, the path of everlasting love," posits an inspirational quote featured at the top of Tony's email--which, almost needless to say, turns out to be Tony quoting himself. (Hey, why waste precious space or verbiage on anyone of lesser wisdom, right?)

The copy continues, "Mother's Day is a tremendous opportunity to show the special mom in your life just how much her love, guidance and constant nurturing has meant to you over the years. Moms are the cherished caregivers and cheerleaders who give so much of themselves as they are always looking for ways to make our lives better. Honor her today by giving her the gift of gratitude, something that will allow her to take time for herself."

And what is this gift of gratitude? Well, let's see. For just $299, you could give her--no, not a 24K gold necklace with a pretty locket; not a "day of beauty" at a chichi day spa that will pamper her and cater to her every whim--but Tony's treatise on "Mastering Influence," an audio program that "integrates proven tools with sales tactics that help you persuade and influence others to ultimately achieve your goals and objectives." In other words, you could teach your Mom how to manipulate people better than a used-car salesman on his best day!** Or maybe she'd like Tony's program on "The Body You Deserve" (because after all, what Mom wouldn't want to be surprised on Mother's Day with a video that basically tells her she's fat!) Or, you could send Mom off to Atlanta to "hear Tony live!" (sure to be high on any mother's list of preferred getaways). What's more, no matter what, you get a free ecard to send to your Mom on Mother's Day.... And why do I suspect that (a) the ecard includes a pitch for, or at least a subtle allusion to, TR's product line, and/or (b) Mom's name and email address will be added to the distribution list for future Robbins spam? If I'm wrong on any of this, I apologize in advance. But I don't think I'm wrong.

I watch some of these folks and I wonder: Is there nothing they don't see as a marketing op or product tie-in? The gall of them. Seriously. What hubris....

* Tony--no fool--knows that mothers are something many of his loyal subjects tend to have.
** though most Moms--let's face it--know this already.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Ha! A great post! Thanks!