Thursday, May 24, 2007

Forgive and regret?

You'll recall that earlier this week we talked about Jon Corzine. Governor of a state with one of the most unforgiving seatbelt policies in America (New Jersey), Corzine suffered near-fatal injuries in April as a result of not wearing his seatbelt. Well, today the Governor is out with a new public service announcement in which he clearly is trying to defuse the outrage over his hypocrisy by almost making it sound as if he didn't wear his seatbelt on purpose so he could have a near-fatal accident that served as a warning to the rest of us. In an opening meant to echo the chilling Yul Brynner anti-smoking spots—filmed before the actor's death from lung cancer, then run post-mortem—Corzine opens with the words, "I'm New Jersey Governor Jon Corzine...and I should be dead." He then goes on to explain that yes indeedy, he should've been wearing his seatbelt that day. Anyway, Corzine's courageous admission (because, after all, what else is he gonna say? Hey, I'm the governor of the state, so SCREW YOU! I'll do what I please!) got me thinking about other celebrity regrets, and how they might be expressed. Here are a handful that come readily to mind:

Britney Spears: "Even if they were dirty, I should've worn a pair."
Barry Bonds: "I should stop telling people I thought it was flaxseed oil."
Richard Pryor: "I should've stuck to mainlining."
Simon Cowell: "I should either do something about my man-boobs, or stop wearing the tight tee-shirts."
George Bush: "I should've settled for being owner of the Texas Rangers."
Dick Cheney: "From now on, I should only pull the trigger if I'm sure it's not a primate."
Don Imus: "I should've said they're headed for the pros."
Bill Clinton: "I should've personally taken that damn dress to the cleaners."
Alexander Litvinenko: "I knew I should've brought my own bottled water with me."

Other nominations?


Matt Dick said...

Mel Gibson: I really should have blamed the Arabs!

Anonymous said...

Frank Sinatra: Maybe I would've been happier if I did it "somebody else's way" once in a while.

a/good/lysstener said...

Michael Jackson: "I probably should've stopped when my nose fell off."