Thursday, August 30, 2007

Logic that even a big-mouthed poop-head can follow. Dadgabit!

Now and then, the spirit of fair play compels me to present an intelligent, well-argued rebuttal from the other side. And after all, for more than two years I've been inviting dedicated SHAMsters to provide me with their thoughts on why they remain faithful to self-help regimens that seem improbable at best, asinine at worst. For such reasons, I hereby give you the following, which arrived in the inbox associated with my professional web site (journalismpro) earlier this week.* It speaks for itself:

"Steve, your a jerk!! I've been following the law of attraction, & I'm here to tell you it does work, so poop to you, big mouth. The way you spew negativity around is why the world is in such a disaster!!! Try being positive for a change, & maybe life will get better for ya!!! Same goes for your faithful negative audience. What crap energy is sent out, will draw like-minded people back at ya. That's why you all get along so good. I think your so unhappy with your life, you can't help knocking others down. Jealousy of others good fortune seems to really piss you off, why I wonder?? The ones who buy their products, is because they want to advance in this world, in harmony, & better themselves, instead of wasting precious time & energy like your group does. Get a life you people, & stop worrying about what others do, & try to think for yourselves. Look in the mirror, & see what makes you think you're so much better than others. Get a grip will ya!!!!!"
As Olson Johnson says to the congregation after Gabby has just given his thundering gibberish pep talk in that classic scene from Blazing Saddles: Now who can argue with that!

P.S. If the law of attraction does indeed work, this person is in serious trouble.

* I will not reveal the identity of the person or his/her email address, but I did forward the email to a number of SHAMblog regulars, to document its authenticity. Now, I suppose this could be a put-on—a "work of satire"—but the writer never breaks character, so I'm inclined to think it's legit. Or as legit as this sort of logic can be, anyway.

9 comments:

Keith Throop said...

"If the law of attraction does indeed work, this person is in serious trouble."

Yes, the hypocrisy just oozes from this person's email. I guess you can be as negative as you want to be, so long as you are being negative to or about those you feel are negative.

Anonymous said...

I guess this person never felt it was important to attract an education, or learn anything about grammar and spelling.

Mary Anne said...

First of all, I am NOT a negative person. I am actually described as one of the most positive people my friends know. What I am NOT, is gullible. If one is going to try to sell me something, the seller better be the best buyer of the product. I have yet to see that with MOST if not ALL of this "secret" stuff. If one does a little digging, one would find most of these "secretons" or whatever you want to call them, lead some sad lives. To top it off, they want unsuspecting people to pay for those lives. I got a problem with that and being called "negative." By the way, if this person is so darn happy, why even bother with Steve?

Steve Salerno said...

I think you have implicitly given us some words to live by, Mary Anne: "If you're happy, don't bother with Steve!"

Cal said...

I didn't know where to put this comment, because it isn't germane to this post.

Is there is place in SHAM for flash-in-the-pan SHAMsters? I was on a site (gawker.com) that mentioned Susan Powter and described her as

"Susan Powter—you remember the annoying motivational speaker with the harsh blonde crewcut, whose catchphrase was "Stop the insanity!"—is now a radical slightly goth tattooed lesbian moon-worshipping videoblogger who likes to film herself eating white nectarines in the middle of the night! She looks like Nina Hagen + Ani DiFranco. Also she has a cooking show called "Taste My Broth." Yes. TASTE MY BROTH. Best transformation ever!"

I remember her because in the early '90s she was everywhere! Also, remember the Mommies? They were two Moms who gave parenting advice. They had a show that ended up being replaced by "The View". Also Les Brown is also one among others that I remember who just disappeared. I'm sure there are some more that I have forgotten.

Anonymous said...

>> free will vs. fate, dreams vs. "pragmatism"

Steve, it was a huge let down to miss out on the genuine self-help horror stories. Is there a way to fictionalize some of the accounts to give the spirit of what you learned?

I like it when you run series of posts on a theme
- the self-help horror stories
- free will vs. fate
- following dreams vs. "pragmatism"
- Diet, weight, exercise, and self-help
- roasting sessions, like the chapters in the book
- commentary on relevant news/ current events
- commentary on ideas in books, cds, videos
- commentary on seminars

Some of the less entertaining series, to me
- sports themes
- kids and education / school performance
- random Steve TV moments
- long blog posts (prefer to buy a short e-book)
- rants about amazon ratings, rants in general
- any discussion on race or class

Also, thank you the active commenting. It's a large reason why I keep coming back. Thanks for reading the unsolicited input of one loyal reader.

Mary Anne said...

Yes Cal! I saw that great new commercial by Susan Powter. It is so funny! I thought it was a joke of some kind, but she is serious. I liked her first diet informcials where she said,"it comes from a pig people!" She was talking about ham. It's entertaining to have her back in this weird new image. I've never brought any of her stuff, but she sure is fun to watch.

Anonymous said...

Oh man:

"You can be as negative as you want to be, so long as [you're] being negative,...about those you feel are negative."

and

"If you're happy, don't bother with Steve!"

Guess who's off to the T-Shirt shop? (LOL)

Sam

Mary Anne said...

Steve, I finally read "THE SECRET" at Target. I did not buy it, but read it as my mother shopped. I HAVE to tell you my story. I read something just like this when I was 25. It was the THE SOURCE by Ester and Jerry Hicks. They too preach that one should, "act as if it has already happened." Well, I was 25 and in love with a guy who probably never gave me a thought. I will call him Mr. Wrong. We dated occasionally, but I was in love or so I thought. I decided I wanted to marry Mr. Wrong and followed the Hicks advice. I started addressing myself as Mrs. Wrong, because "others must create your reality with you" so the Hicks state. I signed up for magazine subscriptions and what not with this guy's last name. Anyhoo, one day I got a call asking for Mr. Wrong. I said I was Mrs. Wrong. It was a bill collector. My true love owed A LOT of money and seemed to have a gambling problem. Do you know how stupid I felt having to explain to the bill collector what I had done? How do you explain "pretending to be married" to a bill collector? I tried, but I don't think he bought the TRUTH. Now those who believe in the Universal law of attraction would say, "the Universe was helping you realize Mr. Wrong was not right for you and you should be grateful." What I learned was NOT to lie unless it is on paper and called fiction.