Wednesday, September 19, 2007

If the running back's a viper, he's gotta pay the piper.

Just heard OJ's lawyers on GMA talking about how "there are suspicions that the tape may have been altered," and that we need "credible" evidence that the menacing voice on the tape is, indeed, Simpson's.

Now where have I heard that sort of stuff before?

Already I can see the new defense rallying cry taking shape:

"If the tape quality's s**t, you must acquit."

Apropos of all this, I do have some questions.

1. Do they rent white Broncos out of McCarran?

2. Where was Mark Fuhrman last week, anyway?

3. Why did OJ's hotel accomplices have all those weapons in the first place? Did the Juice have a hot tip that the real killers of Ron and Nicole were hiding out somewhere at the Golden Nugget?

4. Can you extradite jurors? If so, OJ's legal team might want to start the paperwork going to bring in, at the very least, that alternate from the murder trial who reportedly said she'd have a hard time believing he did it, "even if I saw it on video."

Your judicial dollars* at work....

Incidentally, have I mentioned before that at one time, by far the biggest draw on the Sportsthink banquet circuit was OJ Simpson himself? The Juice placed particular emphasis on the importance of integrity and a never-say-die attitude. True story.

* And bear in mind, this is from someone—meaning me—who's a staunch supporter of defendants' rights, and who generally thinks the pendulum has swung way too far towards the "victims' rights" end of the scale. Personally I think there has to be something we can arrest Nancy Grace for. Just because.


gregory said...

ah, oj simpson, lovely.. last time i saw tv in america it was a camera in a helicopter flying above a white bronco... i missed the mediated feeding frenzy on the oj trial, of bill and monica, on the 9/11 evenet .... we peons sure do love our mediated dramas, it is indeed the most important thing in the whole world... oh, gotta go, just got a blink that there is a new post on ... i really hope it is about brittney or maybe that actress with no clothes ....

Mary Anne said...

You know what bothers me about O.J. is his utter stupidity and arrogance. There should be a jail for people this stupid. I notice that O.J.'s best friend, what's his name CJ, disappeared quietly into the night. Why doesn't idiot O.J. get a clue and do the same? I was in L.A. during the Rodney King riots and the O.J. trial and MY opinion is O.J.'s aquital was a result of the Rodney King verdict. That is still how I see it 13 years later.

Anonymous said...

The man is a total scumbag- I hope I can say that on your blog. But since he got away with that other little matter, then I hope he gets nailed big time here. The more time he serves, the better I like it, and the safer the rest of us will be. It's just too bad there's no death penalty for breaking into someone's hotel and trying to steal back footballs. What an unbelievable jerk!

T. Berlin

The Crack Emcee said...

Put the murdering idiot under the prison and throw away the key.

Lana said...

"Ron and Nicole." FINALLY!