Sunday, April 06, 2008

'Special bulletin! Brad uses a different hand to wipe!'

Forgive me the tackiness of my headline, but I write it having just returned from Walmart, where, while waiting to check out, I noticed a prominent cover blurb on the latest edition of Star magazine:

"SHILOH'S CHIPPED TOOTH! Find out how it happened!"*

Shiloh's chipped tooth. Find out how it happened. This is the sort of information America just can't get enough of, apparently. I say "apparently" because Star has a circulation of 1.3 million. That's each and every week, folks. Of course, America can find out even more about the status of Shiloh's teeth in such other celebrity weeklies as People, US, etc. All of which have substantial readerships in their own right.

Meanwhile, I have trouble finding stores that even carry Skeptic, which has all of 40,000 readers. Quarterly.

And you wonder why, in survey after survey, voters who say they support this or that presidential aspirant have trouble identifying their candidate of choice with even a single platform plank. But I bet they know everything there is to know about TomKat...!

* I'm not sure I've got the second part of it exactly right, but it's close.

9 comments:

mikecane2008 said...

Welcome to the end of the world.

No big explosion.

Just brain rot from trivia.

Steven Sashen said...

Please tell me that you READ the article and can tell us how it happened!

Thank you for helping me discover that I subscribe to the wrong publication; Skeptic is NOT giving me the kind of breaking, life-changing news I need.

ourfriendben said...

God help those poor kids--they've done nothing to deserve this. I begin to wonder if the relentless media pursuit of actors and their families will result in the death of serious acting--who wants to deal with that?!--and we'll be left with reality TV and "celebrities." The Wal-Martization of the performing arts...

RevRon's Rants said...

I think (and hope) that the public will eventually grow tired of the constant procession of celebutantes, faux "reality" shows, and in general, all those "celebrities" whose only offering is celebrity itself. Look how many "artists" are famous only for their felonies, their drug and alcohol abuse, and their "images," completely overshadowing their meager talents.

There will always be genuine creatives, who ply their craft in their work, while shunning the paparazzi-laden environs. If we want to see more of their artistry and less of the juvenile acting out, we have but to vote with our dollars and support those who inspire us, rather than those whose primary function is to titillate us.

Steve Salerno said...

I agree 100%, Ron. But what are the odds of that happening? Not good, I fear. Look at today's film industry: I watch the trailers and read the reviews, and I swear, it seems like every movie (with very rare exceptions) is being made for the 12- to 16-year-old demographic. Our entire culture is "girls gone wild," in a sense. And the films made for adults are almost always in some foreign tongue--usually Brit English, which I find inexpressibly annoying. I realize that people (especially women) just luvvv Hugh Grant, but after about 20 minutes, I can't stand listening to the guy anymore.

Other than that--and how's this for ironic?--the only movies with "smarts" are the animated ones, wherein writers take pains to embed an added layer of meaning that'll keep adults from going out of their minds while sitting in a theater full of giggling 9-year-olds. Kinda like the old Bugs Bunny cartoons, which often were the most clever things on TV during the "vast wasteland" era.

Anonymous said...

So...how's that Byron Katie article coming along, Steve (Salerno, that is)? Or has that project been shelved?

Steve Salerno said...

I was expecting to be confronted thusly--and I deserve it, for sure. No, Katie hasn't been shelved; but she's simmering on a back burner for now while I continue to accumulate info as I'm able. Also--and this may be the tricky part--I think this is developing into an actual piece of enterprise journalism that may demand comment (or at least a formal, spoken "no comment") from Ms. Katie herself.

Look, the fact is, in hindsight, I began talking about this too soon. I was facing a nightmarish workload when I first brought this up, and I didn't allow for the unexpected (like, say, rewrites).

We'll get it in eventually.

Anonymous said...

"I think this is developing into an actual piece of enterprise journalism that may demand comment (or at least a formal, spoken "no comment") from Ms. Katie herself."

...Looking forward to it. :-)

mikecane2008 said...

>>>Look, the fact is, in hindsight, I began talking about this too soon. I was facing a nightmarish workload when I first brought this up, and I didn't allow for the unexpected (like, say, rewrites).

Never pre-announce. Didn't Microsoft and Vista teach you anything?