Monday, July 25, 2011

To the crazy-man in the Honda van.

I swore off road rage years ago in Brooklyn, before the term had even come into general usage. (This was after an unsettling episode that easily could've gotten out of hand in a life-changing way.) I am, however, reconsidering my stance on same in light of current events.

Three times in just the past two weeks, during my morning commute, this guy in a Honda Odyssey (of all possible instruments of vehicular harassment!) has made a provocative nuisance of himself, planting himself on my tail (and I mean right o
n my tail) or dangerously swerving in and out of lanes around me. Now I'm not so paranoid as to think his behavior is directed at me in particular; it's just how he drives. Fate simply has put us on the same path during these encounters. I've tried to shrug it off or rationalize itas I usually do in such circumstancesby telling myself, "He's having a bad day" or "It's probably the only time in his life he's ever done something like that, and I happen to be there to see it." I can't tell you how many times such reasoning has calmed me down in situations where I once might have exploded, either in or out of a car. Except it's clear here that this isn't just "a bad day." Maybe it's a bad month. In any case, it isn't the "only time he's ever done something like that."

Increasingly I think he's just a reckless, impatient, inconsiderate asshole. And people like that typically require, shall we say, feedback in order to make the appropriate correction
s.

So, Mr. Honda Driver. Next time I see you out there acting the fool, there will be a response. I can't be sure right now exactly what form that response might take. I do know that it will be something more than a waved middle finger, albeit something less than the climactic sequence of Taxi Driver (though you never know nowadays where things may lead). Whatever happens, you will be encouraged to confront your behavior for what it is, and for the impact it has on the others with whom you share the roads. You have been warned.

2 comments:

Unknown said...

Next time he's on your tail ask yourself "do I want a new vehicle?" If the answer is yes then slam on the breaks.

Anytime someone is riding our tail my wife and I joke "Look what I'm towing" or "Should I open the hatch and let them crawl in?" and of course "do you want a new car?"

Anonymous said...

Touche